Even before the day we said “I do,” we knew that we would keep dating after the rings were on and the vows were made. As kids have come into the picture, along with travel that sometimes throws miles between us, keeping a regular (and our goal of weekly) date night has become much more difficult. Nonetheless, we’re making a habit of regular date nights… even if not quite as often, or as extravagant. You’ve probably even seen some of these photos before, as they were originally posted on Instagram during one of those said date nights. The thing is, although we can’t quite get away together (and alone) as often, there are a few ways to keep the spark alive… right in the middle of a sometimes chaotic home of three little ones and offices, deadlines and travel.
Table of Contents
Kiss him like you mean it.
Yes, we all give quick little pecks hello and goodbye, and that’s okay too… but sometimes, grab his face and let him know you mean it. Our kids will laugh once in awhile when they “catch us,” and they get a kick out of it, saying, “I saw that!” when I give him a longer kiss.
Save water and share a shower.
Is he in the shower and you were planning to take one anyway? Hop in with him! I know that for me, showers are usually my escape and alone time with my own thoughts (and it’s usually the place I get most of my creative ideas), and I still value that time to myself… but every once in awhile, surprising him as we battle for shower space is a fun alternative. And a welcome surprise for him.
Do some laundry, or other chores, in lingerie.
You know you’ve got a few sets of lingerie hidden somewhere! Although this may not be the best choice while kids are around, if you happen to have some time where you’re hoping to get a lot done and the kids aren’t around, put on something a little skimpy while you clean up. If you feel confident and sexy while you vacuum, fold towels or wash dishes… well, he’ll certainly think you are too. And plus, he’ll definitely notice all the little things you do to keep the house in order. He might even jump in to help!
Give a massage, get a massage.
I’m not talking about an all-out, oil rubbing, full body massage… although that works too! But when you’re ready to chill and watch a movie together, or you’re climbing into bed, or he’s on the couch, or one of you is cooking dinner… let there be touch! There is a great book, The Five Love Languages, that describes the ways different people feel love. We all give it and receive it in different ways… and one is through touch. Even if it’s just a caress of his arms when you’re in the middle of your Netflix binge, instead of sitting at opposite ends of the couch, touch makes a difference. Touch brings connection.
Tell him you’re proud of him… and look him in the eyes when you do.
Our men value our opinion, highly. Think about it… we talk about what we need to do, how the kids are doing, what we need him to work on or fix (that all to familiar honey-do list), what we didn’t like, etc, but how often have you told him, face to face, what you really appreciate about him. What is it that he’s doing you are truly proud of? What is it that makes you happy? What makes you blush? Tell him. In the business world there is a saying, “Praises are better than raises.” And to a point, that is true… people step up to the praises you bestow on them. And guess what? The same is true in the home. Want him to take out the garbage a little more often? Praise him for the times he does and for the things he does. It works SO much better than nagging. It almost sounds like manipulation, but I guarantee it’s not… it does wonders for how you truly feel about your man when you put into words what you appreciate about him. And it does wonders for how he feels about you when he knows you value him. Also… we’re kicking off a new dating series here on FMB soon and I’m SO excited to share it with you! We’ll be sharing all kinds of date night inspiration, tips for dating on a budget, and more. Now we just need a good name for the series! So, if you have any ideas, I’d love to hear them, and also, please share… what do you do to spice up your love life?
xo
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jenn says
Loved this. Thank you!
Lora says
You’re adorable! Great tips! (I wear my lingerie to do all sorts of things; it’s sexy AND comfortable! tehehee.)
Holly Sosa says
This is all great advice. I’m a believer in kissing like you mean it and verbal praise. Men love hearing positive reinforcement and it makes them feel good about themselves. Thanks for sharing!
Jessica Dimas says
Love love love!!! So funny because this has been on my mind this past week. I feel like I’ve been missing my hubby (even though we see each other every day!) because we just don’t do a lot of these things! And they were normal occurrences before children. Thank you for these awesome reminders and tips, and I can’t wait for your dating series!!
Tiffany | A Touch of Grace says
I love this Tabitha! We are pretty good at keeping the spark alive, but struggle with consistent date nights. I am really trying to get us some more one on one time, but with little ones it is hard.
Thanks for the great tips!
Heaven says
This isn’t usually the kind of stuff I choose to click on at linky parties (I’m below you on SHINE) but I’m glad I did. Fun ideas and totally doable and valid ones. I recently wrote a post about how powerful touch is for all ages. It’s quite amazing! Following you on bloglovin. 🙂
Tabitha Blue says
Awe, well I’m glad you did too and thank you for your sweet words!! Yes, touch is so important! I’m going to have to check out your post!! 🙂
Kristy says
These are the kind of tips I need to read. I feel like being a mom can sometimes consume you, but you can’t forget about your man. 😉 Great tips!
Tabitha Blue says
Oh it’s so, so true Kristy! I even find that I have to change my mindset so that I don’t speak to him like I do kids or try to “boss” him around. Thanks!!
[email protected] says
Yep, great tips to take care of your man! Doing laundry in lingerie would be mine but our washer is outside our back yard. Folding laundry in lingerie would be more ideal for me:) Came by through the Shine Blog hop. Cheers from Bangkok!
Tabitha Blue says
Haha, yes folding would be the better option! 😉 so glad you came by, welcome!
Brandyn says
These are some great tips! It is so important to maintain the connection with your partner, especially after kids enter the picture! Making a commitment to nurture your relationship is vital.
Thank you for sharing with us at #MommyMeetupMondays!
Tabitha Blue says
Yes, the commitment to keep it fresh… So vital! Thanks 🙂
Alycia//Crazily Normal says
I love this list! It’s all about the little things that you do every day that can make all the difference. Like touching and kissing. We definitely need to do more of this! 🙂
Jules Ruud says
Way to write a post about spicing up your love life without making me uncomfortable! It is so important to keep each other a priority and yes, sometimes doing chores together can spark something. Thank you for sharing this at #MommyMeetupMondays. 🙂
Tabitha Blue says
Hahaha I love that… “Without making me uncomfortable.” You’re so welcome!! Just writing it was reminding me to do little things more often 😉