I would love to write something terribly over the top and poetic, but operating on little sleep lends itself to my right brain firing at half mast. We’ve been sleeping with an achy, feverish little babe tucked between us while I hover and hush most of the night. But this morning, just as the sun began to do it’s morning routine of peaking out through the top of our dark bedroom curtains to slowly wake us, my little one’s eyes opened and locked with mine… and there it was. That huge grin with six little teeth showing through. That huge grin assuring mama that all is right. That huge grin telling us that the fever broke and sunshine and giggles are on their way to being the norm again.
And in this state of half sleepy, half elated mind, I write, stream of consciousness style.
All of a sudden, I’m typing through water-logged eyes and tears begin to form droplets on my cheeks. As I think back to what this year was, what it made me, I’m reminded how blessed we are. To be able to embrace change and heartache, knowing that the bumps in the road are what make the good times that much sweeter. To love with no fear of abandon, and letting my soul intertwine so deeply with two little ones that are still teaching me what it is to be a mommy.
The older I get, the more I realize I’m capable of, and that dreams don’t have to stay dreams forever. I love that the new year is a great big blank canvas, and I’ve got a bucket load of colors, ready to throw all the paint at it that I can. Sometimes it will be the purposeful, beautiful lines of a smooth brush, and other times it will be a splash tossed whimsically and haphazardly, but it will always, always be full of color. I’m ready for a colorful year. I’m ready to paint my canvas like there’s no tomorrow. I’m ready to dream big. I’m ready to dream afraid, because I know in doing so, I’ll be taking risks that would otherwise leave me stagnant. My heart is ready to stretch even further. More learning, more growing, more love.
This year brought us so much and taught me what it was too see in vivid color… and for every moment, I’m grateful.
Checking off our Summer list, and enjoying our crazy beautiful… naked life.
Weekends out and weekends at home, August.
This little one began the great chapter of her fourth year. September.
Family vacation to the sunny beaches and salty air of Florida, October.
Oh, it was most definitely a good year, and I know there’s so much more to come. Cheers to the New Year, hoping yours is fabulously painted in living color.
Let’s celebrate. Celebrate well.