I’m sorry, men, in advance. I have a baby. A baby that likes very much to eat. So please forgive me if I spend the next several minutes or so discussing breastfeeding. Thank you for your forgiveness, patience and understanding. And not necessarily in that order. This is a recording.
So, breastfeeding.
As it just so happens, it’s much easier the second time. The nights spent in tears the first time… well that just didn’t happen this time. In fact, I’m really enjoying it. There is one minute difference this time. The fact that now I’m feeding a boy, and he eats. He eats alot. And you know what? I’m going to confess something. My milk runneth over. Really. Like, all of the time. I had plenty the first time around and chubbed my girl right up. I’ve never lacked for milk, or for that matter my babies have never lacked for milk. But, this time, woah. It’s random. It spills. It breaks free of it’s duct at a moments notice. I’m sorry men, I know this is way too much information for you, please just UN-FOLLOW now and spare us all.
Or don’t. It will be over soon.
I recently went out with my girlfriend to meet up with a bunch of photographers to learn. It was great. I rode in a car with a friend and we could talk. It was my favorite thing ever. Because there’s just something about having a three year old and a newborn that’s attached to you, oh just about 24 hours a day that makes riding in a car with an adult A COMPLETE THRILL RIDE. You’re ready to do cartwheels while eating french fries and belting out showtunes. Just because you can.
So, we arrive, and walk around for a bit, meeting other photographers and checking out the venders. Only I’m not so much walking, it’s more of a happy dance, because I actually have my arms free to do so. And get this, I COULD TAKE NOTES, with both hands. I know right? Go ahead, envy me.
Or don’t.
After a while I decided to check my phone to see what time it was. There was my first mistake, and I can’t even bring myself to tell you what happened at that moment. Except I will. Because I’m a blogger and that’s what we do. And really I should have known better, but this is what I saw when I turned my phone on:
I wish I could tell you that this is where the story ends, but sadly it doesn’t. I will say that, thankfully, for everyone in the room, I was wearing absorbent breastmilk pads, because every single one of my ducts kicked into high gear, went berserk and almost knocked me face first onto the floor. I could have fed every single adult in that room. Not that I would have. But those pads held alot of wayward milk.
Alas, there’s more. And do you even want to know what happened? Seriously, I’m shaking my head right now because I can’t believe I’m going to write this. I can’t believe I didn’t learn my lesson.
Not even forty minutes later I looked at my phone to check the time.
My breasts exploded.
Christina Lusk says
I for one, can appreciate every word:)
Stacey says
LOL. I so know what that’s like. I dried up far sooner than I had anticipated, but before then, I remember running to the store to grab some diapers and running into a friend and her husband. When, all of the sudden, a baby started crying. That was it. There was no turning back (or off for that matter). My breastmilk switch had been turned off and my nursing pad had oh so slightly moved. I had a nice wet spot on my breast in the middle of the store…
Would LOVE to know which breast pads you’re using. I fully intend to breastfeed much longer with this next little guy. 😉
Momma Chae says
Love it! 🙂 My breasts also exploded – more than once! I’ve almost forgotten that little oddity of post maternity.
lizcooper says
Um, that. is. hilarious!! I so feel your pain..lol. You should have seen the look on my husband’s face when my boobs exploded…well, during a VERY inopportune time (if you get my drift) LOL!
Briony says
hahah i love how i was sitting not 5inches away from you and i had no clue this was going on. hahaha
Amanda Smith says
See, this is what a first-time pregnant woman needs. Honesty! It seems like post-birth mothers and pre-birth women have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy about what really happens in pregnancy and mothering an infant. I like the “dirty” stories. I want to know what to expect so that I’m assured I’m not a freak. Thanks Tab.
Jen says
Oh the joys of motherhood. Hope you had some extra pad or a clean shirt. 🙂
Linzi says
AH HA HA HA!
I know what that’s like. I even researched to see if there was a milk bank near me so I wasn’t just wasting it all.
I was/am a super soaker! I’m tempted to set her across the room and see if I can make it into her mouth.
Hey, that’s a funny mental picture. I might just add it to my blog. haha
Silverwinds Photography says
I know how that feels… I have had to have my husband full over on the side of the road to either feed a kid or let it drain in a bottle..seriouly I thought he was going to die of laughter….and so was I! Who know those things could have a mind of their own!
Becky says
I love it because I am going through the same thing right now! I think our babies are only a few days apart. Thanks for being so honest! 🙂
FROGGITY! says
you’re scaring me tabitha! should i expect different things with a boy?! i’m nervous now… the first time around i never even wore pads!
also-
i hate laughing at this post b/c i know you must’ve been so uncomfortable… but oh the things mommies go through… eeek! you kind of have to laugh it off i guess!
robin says
I am nursing right now for the first time in my life and am absolutely amazed at how our bodies work. I’m six months in so I don’t have many leaking accidents anymore but the first time the baby cried and my boobs turned on like faucets, I was stunned. It’s incredible, isn’t it?
Kelly says
When I was a nursing Mom working part time I used to look at a photo of my baby while pumping. That always did the trick.
Good for you for being such a good ‘provider’
Angela says
I can SO relate to this. I produced enough milk with my twins that I could’ve had my own dairy farm. 😉 Good for you with being able to write notes with both hands! In my case, it was those times I got to eat dinner with both hands that I appreciated so much.
AForestFrolic says
Hahahaha, what a sweet picture! Giiiirl, I used to go through the same thing…call us the milk maids 😉
Jamie 🙂
Corey~living and loving says
tee hee…I never had a lack of milk, but my nipples must have been tight. LOL can’t believe I just said that. but…I never had much leaking, but I’d have major Let Down when I’d think of my sugar or see a picture. such a bond.
kisatrtle says
I can totally relate to this post. This happened to me in Fashion Bug and was the result of someone elses baby crying.
AngiDe says
That is the funniest thing I have heard all day! Funny, cuz I can currently relate! My little one is 5 months… and my milk runneth over too!
Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend says
I think anyone that has nursed has been where you were….I love your blog..Enjoyed my stop at your blog…Hope you will visit me….Just posted on MAKING a DIFFERENCE!
http://teresa-grammygirlfriend.blogspot.com/.
Prasti says
BAAHHHAAHAA! sorry. this was just too funny. i don’t have that “problem” though i’ve had some random leakage here and there. i think if i had an abundance of milk my husband would seriously use it for coffee creamer…ummm, oops. did i just type that?
Crystal Rae says
OMG that is too funny! What gathering was this? It sounds like fun! 😛
Erin says
Oh I am jealous! I starved both my boys despite the fact that it looked like I could feed an army!
And that pic is just adorable!
Gerri says
Hahahaha!!!!! That was awesome. ;0