There’s a reason I’ve been a bit behind here lately. A little slower to post and quicker to sleep, a little bit behind but slowly getting caught up.
You see, I have an extra reason to say Happy Father’s Day today… for one that can’t quite say it yet, who can’t quite keep up with the pack and bestow hugs and kissed on their amazing daddy. So, baby, I’ll do it for ya.
The pure happiness and joy of this fact kissed the couple of moments that I had this past week that brought on fear, fear from before and hesitation, goodbye.
When I was little, I was always a saver. I had chocolately morsels, Sweet Tarts and Jolly Ranchers year-round because I would store them in a hidden bag and ration them to myself when I wanted to savor something sweet. And it felt good. It was nice to know that I had more to enjoy waiting for me whenever I wanted… and sometimes knowing that would be enough to make me wait, to hold off, because that feeling of looking forward to something, of knowing there was something delicious around the bend was too good to let go of.
And part of me wanted to wait it out a bit. To make sure that it was only good and sweet around the bend, but I’m not about living in fear and the few glorious months that I have of bonding and growing with this new, precious life inside me… well, it’s just too good, too sweet and too short not to share.
So, I’m enjoying my last piece of candy, and I’m going to linger on every mouth watering moment and soak up every delicious morsel of this pregnancy that I can.
I’m excited to be exhausted beyond what I’ve felt before, and ecstatic that at the verge of 8 weeks I can already see a bump… a bump that I didn’t see until at least 4 months with the first. It feels good to imagine the kicks and hiccups that will wake me up at night and I dream about the bassinet next to my bed that will hold a tiny bundle of love whose cries will stir me in the middle of the night and I’ll feel the breath of a newborn again.
Time stands still in
You weren’t there
And now you’re here
I dreamed of you
But I never know how…sweet and lovely
Plumb lyrics from “My Sweet, My Lovely”
Enjoying all these sweet and lovely baby things indeed.