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IMG_1215This one. This little heart of mine beating outside of my body, and yet his own heart is so big, it’s wrapped me up in it tight… And forever. It’s been 5 years since the day he slid into our lives, when she said, “Reach down and grab your baby,” and we did, Chris and I both, to grab and hold on to this little love of ours. We haven’t let go since that moment.

When he says, “mama,” my eyes light up. He loves hard and strong, he thinks deeply, he questions and ponders and wonders. He’s loves squishy hugs and “stuck” kisses. He still picks flowers (weeds) for me. He gets excited to learn and likes to dance in his underwear. And his words, oh is my ever loving heart moved by his words… they make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me think.

This week I’ve been thinking about what it will be like as he grows. I wonder at how our relationship will grow and change. I think about what I’m instilling in him now, at this tender young age, that he will take with him to his own family and children. I think about how each year I’ll have to let go of him just a little bit more and as he learns who he is. And oh, I hope that we will still be close, that he’ll always be my sweet Brayden, with broadened horizons and a family of his own that he’ll nourish and love. I pray he’ll always be my little monkey.

This week, we reunited since I’ve been out of town for work. This week we’re celebrating him. We’re feeding that explorative side with quick treks through the windy city (because Oh Emm Gee is it cold here right now!), riding to the top of towers, building lego masterpieces, eating through pizza and popcorn (some of the best in Chicago, let me tell you, and he knows it!), finding the best cupcakes, skipping through the streets (literally, because it’s much warmer than walking) and warming up in the hot tub when we just can’t take the numb limbs anymore. 

Happy 5th Birthday my little love. Happy Birthday week.

xo

Tabitha Blue