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My hands touched the stiff white styrofoam, moving from back to front until my fingertips reached the latch. As soon as the cover was open I was immediately taken to a different place. A different time.
It was a time of swollen ankles and expanding waistline. A time of cracker nibbling and incredulous forgetfulness. A time of irritation and tenderhearted affection. A time of cleaning out and stocking up.
It wasn’t last month’s crimson tide. (I’m sorry to all you men reading this post.) It was about two and a half years ago and it wasn’t just me anymore. I was now responsible for more than one life. I had another life forming inside me.
And than little life ate many, many nights on what was in this white styrofoam box. I had even become ‘a regular’. This little mexican food dive would know my order as soon as I’d call. One of the cooks was even in the delivery room of the hospital when Baby Blue decided to make her entrance.
Ok, maybe that one went a little too far. But you know me, I can be prone to exaggeration.
Nostalgia.
That is really what I’m talking about. I held onto that box, ready to slap anyone that came too close. Baby Blue was in fear for her life. Why was mommy holding onto this little box of food with such a grip? She always shares her food. Always.
Why had it been so long since I’ve eaten this food? I mean we only had it about 200 days out of my 260 day pregnancy.
Just the scent alone had drool dripping down my mouth and onto my shirt. On my shirt? Oh, who cares about that shirt anyway.
As I closed my eyes to savor that first, mouth-watering bite, I was filled with anticipation. My heart thumped loudly.
My Christopher asked, “So, was it everything you remember?”
Nope. It was good, but not like I remember. I was confused. Devastated. Lost. My heart sank. The drool began to dry up and my composure returned to normal.
I mean, it was good, really good. But there is a difference between satisfying a hunger and satisfying a craving. A deep, longing heart-wrenching craving.
The rumble that growled from deep inside my being was quieted, the hunger satiated. But I had no craving, no deep longing to quiet.
I ate. It was good. And I shared. Baby Blue even ate my very last one.
Mrs. S says
What is it??
And I love Mexican. LOVE IT.
bfs ~ "Mimi" says
I’m with Mrs. S…what is it? What are we missing out on??? Tell me! Tell me!
Tabitha Blue says
Ok, I’m a total dork for commenting on my own post…. but just so everyone knows, those yummy little things are stuffed and fried jalapenos and mini burritos. Yum!
~Tabitha~
•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Erin.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• says
Mmm I love me some jalepeno poppers!! Our local Mexican place serves it with a jalepeno honey sauce too. DIVINE!
CrYsTAL says
That is too funny! That honestly doesnt sound good to me… LOL
Kimber says
I think it sounds yummy. Love jalapeno poppers.
CM says
I know what you are feeling! Food tastes so much better when your pregnant! Especially after the morning sickness wears off! I remember just going on and on about how good some chocolate cake was and ooohing and aaahhing over it and hubs finally looked over and said , “It’s just cake!” You’ll have to get pregnant again to experience it again, however, your chaving might be differant next time! Mine were!
Jenni Jiggety says
That serisously made me wicked hungry!!!
Janna says
Are those buffalo wings? I love buffalo wings and get cravings for them when I am NOT pregnant.
My major craving with my youngest was Jimmy John’s Vegetarian Sub. You are right, there is a difference in the taste when you are craving it and pregnant.
Janna says
Oh hello, I should read the comments. I was wondering why you were ordeing buffalo wings from a mexican restaurant.
Rachael says
yum! the things i craved when i was pregnant aren’t nearly as good now as i remember, but they still make me nostalgic!
Jenny in Utah says
I was wondering why you were craving them again … but no announcement followed! 😉 They look delish!
tara @ kidz says
Mmmm mmmm mmmm. Deep fried deliciousness always makes my mouth water!
Cindy says
oh, how I remember egg salad sandwiches like yesterday
🙂
AnnD says
I never got many pregnant cravings with Emma, I was fond of the spiral Kraft Mac and Cheese. And it had to be the spiral kind! But, I can relate to the story, usually it is me craving something and then I eat it and it’s just not hitting the spot like I imagined it would. So frustrating!
Briony says
you are so funny…i’m not really a fan of either but i am glad you were able to relive some fond memories 🙂
[email protected] says
I remember those craving days oh too well 🙂 and afterwards it just isn’t the same!
Gerri says
Awesome post. I love the writing. Glad you enjoyed it. Even though it was not a craving. 🙂
Corey~living and loving says
loved reading this…but alas….my pregnancy was craving free. I feel gipped (how do you spell that?).
hope all is well for you!
Christina Lee says
I too thought the end of your post was going to be an announcement 🙂
Jaden Paige says
Jalepeno poppers ROCK! I can see why you didn’t want to share when you were preggo 😛
NOTHING compares to a pregnancy craving.
Live.Love.Eat says
Oh yum. I was going to ask what they were but I see you answered. Ok, definitely have to get me some Mexican tonight!!!!
Jaina says
I am now craving those myself.