Even before the day we said “I do,” we knew that we would keep dating after the rings were on and the vows were made. As kids have come into the picture, along with travel that sometimes throws miles between us, keeping a regular (and our goal of weekly) date night has become much more difficult. Nonetheless, we’re making a habit of regular date nights… even if not quite as often, or as extravagant. You’ve probably even seen some of these photos before, as they were originally posted on Instagram during one of those said date nights. The thing is, although we can’t quite get away together (and alone) as often, there are a few ways to keep the spark alive… right in the middle of a sometimes chaotic home of three little ones and offices, deadlines and travel.
Kiss him like you mean it.
Yes, we all give quick little pecks hello and goodbye, and that’s okay too… but sometimes, grab his face and let him know you mean it. Our kids will laugh once in awhile when they “catch us,” and they get a kick out of it, saying, “I saw that!” when I give him a longer kiss.
Save water and share a shower.
Is he in the shower and you were planning to take one anyway? Hop in with him! I know that for me, showers are usually my escape and alone time with my own thoughts (and it’s usually the place I get most of my creative ideas), and I still value that time to myself… but every once in awhile, surprising him as we battle for shower space is a fun alternative. And a welcome surprise for him.
Do some laundry, or other chores, in lingerie.
You know you’ve got a few sets of lingerie hidden somewhere! Although this may not be the best choice while kids are around, if you happen to have some time where you’re hoping to get a lot done and the kids aren’t around, put on something a little skimpy while you clean up. If you feel confident and sexy while you vacuum, fold towels or wash dishes… well, he’ll certainly think you are too. And plus, he’ll definitely notice all the little things you do to keep the house in order. He might even jump in to help!
Give a massage, get a massage.
I’m not talking about an all-out, oil rubbing, full body massage… although that works too! But when you’re ready to chill and watch a movie together, or you’re climbing into bed, or he’s on the couch, or one of you is cooking dinner… let there be touch! There is a great book, The Five Love Languages, that describes the ways different people feel love. We all give it and receive it in different ways… and one is through touch. Even if it’s just a caress of his arms when you’re in the middle of your Netflix binge, instead of sitting at opposite ends of the couch, touch makes a difference. Touch brings connection.
Tell him you’re proud of him… and look him in the eyes when you do.
Our men value our opinion, highly. Think about it… we talk about what we need to do, how the kids are doing, what we need him to work on or fix (that all to familiar honey-do list), what we didn’t like, etc, but how often have you told him, face to face, what you really appreciate about him. What is it that he’s doing you are truly proud of? What is it that makes you happy? What makes you blush? Tell him. In the business world there is a saying, “Praises are better than raises.” And to a point, that is true… people step up to the praises you bestow on them. And guess what? The same is true in the home. Want him to take out the garbage a little more often? Praise him for the times he does and for the things he does. It works SO much better than nagging. It almost sounds like manipulation, but I guarantee it’s not… it does wonders for how you truly feel about your man when you put into words what you appreciate about him. And it does wonders for how he feels about you when he knows you value him. Also… we’re kicking off a new dating series here on FMB soon and I’m SO excited to share it with you! We’ll be sharing all kinds of date night inspiration, tips for dating on a budget, and more. Now we just need a good name for the series! So, if you have any ideas, I’d love to hear them, and also, please share… what do you do to spice up your love life?